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Hey, you.

June 17, 2009

don’t you dare look down on me. i would not allow it. not anymore.

also, quit analyzing me. just stop.

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Hello

June 5, 2009

updates, updates and more updates.

i mentioned my career plans in my previous entry. so what’s the status now? So far, i managed to register the names of my businesses in dti already. plan one, step one, check. i’m now waiting for the current renters of my future space to leave so we can start constructing my shop. so excited! i actually plan to have the physical shop first before getting more consignors.

and just as planned, i am now a csb professor. i’m teaching web development 1 (intrdes) and author2 (instruc) to 3rd year college students. why those tracks? that’s what they gave me. i originally wanted to teach graphics or portfolio, but they seem to be in need of more profs for web and interactive track. it’s alright. and i’m getting the hang of it. im thinking im too nice though. remind me to be stricter next week.

so enough with my career life. im trying to demote it from the top of my priorities list. so what’s more important now? social life? haha 😀 love life? ehhh.

i told some of my friends that the month of may was quite eventful. Quit my job, became a bum, got my first tat, our cat akiko came back home after 6mos, registered my biz, won a cruise to palawan/bora gc, started teaching, got broadband (hahaha it’s abt time!), went to laguna with my superfriends, daniel got married, ate came home, attended fashion week with the ubes, and saw a special person. i will write the details of these, madz style.

Quit my job. told you about it gazillion times already.

Became a bum. for just a week or two. but it felt like forever. my back will never ever get tired or lying down. it could have been better if there was something edible in the fridge to munch on. i almost died of starvation.

got my first tat. and im dooper happy with it! actually, this almost didn’t happen. when lai, nath and i got to the shop, onat (the artist) told us that he can’t do anything that’s smaller than a shortbondpapersized circle if he were to make use of my design. they all saw how i reacted to this. i don’t think anybody (aside from my family) has seen my super duper disappointed face before. imagine your excitement when you find out that you one a million bucks. then hindi pala. that’s how i felt. i suggested we get vous instead. but i think onat saw my teary eyes so he tried to give me what i really wanted. such a spoiled brat haha!

akiko came back! yes she did. good thing i was still up at 2am that day. i heard some loud, continuous meowing from downstairs and i was so surprised to see that it was akiko. i thought i was being haunted by a cat mumu.

registered my biz names. it wasn’t easy, believe me. i got rejected five times. had to rename and resubmit my online application over and over and over again. and everytime i submit another application, i had to wait for a week for their approval. so i guess it took me more than a month to get the names. plus, i had to go to dti’s new office to get the certificate. on a positive note, registering is a lot cheaper now 😀

i won a cruise gc! yoe and i did. thanks so much sam for forcing me to go with you. i had other plans that night, but because of my laziness, i chose to go to moa instead. hihi 😀 it was really funny because we were making jokes about winning the raffle early that night. and then when it was time to draw the tickets, yoe’s number was called at the exact same time we were reading his number. then i got busy looking for my missing ticket. when i finally found it, my number was called! haha 😀 i was quit nervous when they awarded me the gc because i already had a few drinks and i was in heels. the spotlight was on me and i was so afraid that i would slip. thank God i didn’t. the celebrity table was there in front and i can totally recall that gio alvarez congratulated me hahaha 😀

started teaching. got broadband. we can skip those parts.

went to laguna with my superfriends. fun, fun and fun! you can take/throw us anywhere and we’ll still have fun. even more fun because we recruited new members! dona and vince came with us. extra happy because charm, joel and yoe finally got to join. but 😦 that lala, dale, altair, beam and jason weren’t present for year two.

Daniel got married. at 22, daniel already has a 1.5 yr old son and a wife. wow. their love story is cute. daniel had a crush on his wife, jess, since gradeschool. he was a chubby kid and was quite insecure so he didn’t dare to make a move. he transferred to another school but later on they met again. chuva chuva chu chu.

ate came home. she’s still here. but she’ll go back to kl next week then she’ll fly to japan for the last yr of her phd.

fashion week. it was the perfect time to rock those boots haha 😀 but those heels killed my feet! i was happy to see mother and the rest of the gang again. so happy for ciege! after the show, my lovelies and i went to starbucks to have some qt 😀

and i saw a special person. yep. saw him but he didn’t see me. perhaps another year.

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Mana Ako Kanino?

April 25, 2009

Father, they say, have taken a number of different courses during college. electrical engineering, architecture, even tried entering the seminary. i wouldnt know so much about it of course. i know nothing about his life. but i wouldnt be talking about his absence in this post. this will be about me, and how i am frightened that indecisiveness might be the only thing that i got from him.

corporate life was definitely for me. black, gray, navy blue crisp and structured clothes is my style. high heels, patent stuff. i imagined i would be surrounded by this when i grow up. it did. i got what i wanted.

it wouldnt be so weird if i wasn’t an artist. i couldn’t explain the look in the faces of the citizens of the creative world when they learn i belong to the other side. a mixture of confusion, disgust, i dunno. i just know that the reactions made me feel i had to defend and justify what my plans are with my life.

My sister must be the number one anti-corporate-world person that i know. she’s a non-conformist, so its not surprising that she would have this kind of opinion. we’re so different from each other. i thought i would never fully understand why she hates it so much. but i do now.

the C world is packed with crab mentality, back stabbing, and a bunch of all those evil that will eat you alive. im not sure if everybody sees that world from that perspective. i do. i witnessed it all. sister was right.

Im no quitter. i stand by my decisions, would even try to fool myself if i have to. but i have had enough, so i ditched my dream of being in a corporate world just like how father quit electrical engineering.

after swallowing my pride, i realized that there’s nothing to be ashamed of. im only 22 after all. i still have the right to be confused!

Now, i have all these plans with my life. im excited about it. my heart feels im in the right place. i still get the same look from people when i tell them about my plans though. so what?! this is my life.

i guess in some ways i am like my father. But i refuse to be indecisive. Well, maybe he’s not. perhaps there’s just a lot of different things we want to do with our lives.

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Remedy!

February 26, 2009

When I was on my way to work yesterday, my light bulb went on. I think it will be great if my lovely ubes and I could put up an exhibit this May. Watchathink guys? Will discuss the details on sat 😀

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Life VS Dream

February 23, 2009

Is life just getting sadder or am I just getting harder to please?

What’s so great about bubbles? I wish I liked anything as much as my kids like bubbles. It’s totally sad; their smiling faces point out your inability to enjoy anything. That part in knocked up sums up how I’m feeling.

I’m miserable. Mainly because I’m not where I planned to be right now. Gahhh! I know I don’t have the right to whine because there are people who are in a much more miserable state. But it’s just really sad how life, fate, destiny or whatever energy counters you from getting to your dream and being happy.

Life is like the waves, and I’m an angry and stubborn little crab that holds onto anything and pulls itself to get to where it wants to be. But the waves so much powerful and it pushes the crab to another direction. The crabs getting tired and is thinking of just going with the flow.

Because of life, because of certain circumstances, we get stuck somewhere (or we just go with the flow). We think we can just accept the situation in the meantime, but sooner or later, we get so used to it, we just settle for it. And our dream just…dies.

Hope this crab will still hold on. If ever it lets go, hope the waves will take it to the same shore not too far away from where the crab originally wanted to be, para walking distance lang 😀

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Monday, Monday

February 16, 2009

Monday is my least favorite day of the week. It’s hard for me to wake up especially because I still feel like slothing around all day. But this Monday is special. I got out of bed with excitement when my sister told me that our cat, Aika, finally gave birth to three veryyy cute kittens!

You may know this already, but I still would like to mention, that Aika is our dog Akira’s daughter. Yeah, it’s weird. Akira adopted Aika and Akiko (another cat that has gone MIA) right after her puppies died. She breastfed them, bathed them, treated them as if they were hers. And now, Akira’s a proud grandmom (we haven’t shown her the kittens though, she might eat them all up).

You might have noticed, our pets have this Japanese name thingy going on. So some names that I’m considering are Asuka, Hoshi, Izumi, Jiro, Kaito and Yuki. We don’t know their genders yet, but I’ll try to find out as soon as I get home. One is very much like Akiko. Black, orange and white. The other is white with a gray circle patch on top of its head and another patch on its back like a backpack. Gaaah soo cute. And the other is pure orange. It’s our first time to have an orange cat.

I want to go home noooww!!! But I have a feeling it’s gonna be a long day because my boss is on leave, and Sheryl, the other assistant is on labor already. All the preggies seem to be giving birth this Monday.

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Paranoia

February 6, 2009

This is a serious one.

Ever since Sirius died last year, I cannot help myself from worrying too much. I tried so hard to understand and I recovered from it after a while. But when everything got fine, Akiko was taken away from us. I thought it was unfair because it was my time to be happy. Isn’t that how it was supposed to be? Happy, sad, happy, sad? By why did I get two consecutive sads?

Because of those two incidents, I am constantly afraid of what may happen. I admit that I wasn’t able to enjoy my stay in Malaysia that much because I wanted to be home with the rest of my family. I wanted to be sure everything’s ok.

And to add to my paranoia, a number of people I know are getting sick. One officemate collapsed in her bathroom the other day because of an unknown pain she felt in her stomach. Another has to get her breasts examined because her nips are excreting puss. And my boss just got admitted to a hospital because his lower abdomen was aching.

I pray so hard for this feeling to go away. I don’t want to be afraid anymore.